I wanted to share a message that I think could be valuable to you and perhaps even more importantly, to the people you love.
A very good friend of mine in Ireland passed away a few weeks ago. At her funeral, her 23-year-old son stood up to speak. I suspect he had never spoken publicly before. The church was filled with well over a thousand people, with many more watching online.
The story he told has stayed with me.
Over the past year, he had put university on hold and taken time out to travel. A few months into his journey, he received news that his mother was seriously ill and he immediately returned home to be with her.
When he arrived at the hospital, she was delighted to see him. But after greeting him, she said something unexpected.
It was wonderful to have him there, but when was he returning to his travels?
The question was not really a question. It was an instruction.
“You are not going to get too many chances in life to do this. Get on with it.”
So he did.
He returned overseas, moving into a new house with people he did not know, in a country he barely knew. It was exciting, but it was also lonely and uncertain. Like many young people finding their way in the world, he struggled.
One day he phoned his mother to tell her about his challenges and lament his woes.
Her response was simple.
“Get a little comfortable sitting in the dark. Sometimes it is okay not to know what is going to happen next.”
Take a moment with that.
In a world that seems determined to provide answers immediately, uncertainty often feels like something to be avoided. We rush to solve problems, map out every step, remove every risk and provide reassurance whenever someone feels uncomfortable.
Yet some of life’s most meaningful growth comes from those periods when we do not have the answers.
The reality is that none of us can fully control what comes next.
We do not always know how a new job will turn out. We do not know how relationships will unfold. We do not know what opportunities might emerge from setbacks, or what lessons might come from difficult seasons. Sometimes all we can do is take the next step and trust that clarity will come in time.
As I listened to her son’s speech, I realised there are lessons here for all of us.
There are lessons for parents who want to protect their children from every challenge.
There are lessons for leaders who sometimes feel obliged to have all the answers.
There are lessons for anyone navigating change, uncertainty, loss or transition.
Perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give the people around us is not certainty, but confidence. Confidence that they can cope, adapt and find their way forward, even when the path ahead is unclear.
I am part of the generation that could fairly be described as the Helicopter Parents Brigade, so that message certainly resonates with me.
And perhaps that is why these words have lingered for so long:
“Get a little comfortable sitting in the dark. Sometimes it is okay not to know what is going to happen next.”
Rest in peace, June.
Inspired by a story shared at the funeral of a remarkable mother whose wisdom continues to light the way for others.
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